Wednesday 30 June 2010

Holy Shit Son

I was going to post the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows trailer, but everyone MUST have already seen that. So instead I bring you Paranormal Activity 2.



I hope it's as scary as a) it looks and b) the first one. I'll actually go to the cinema to see this one I think.

Friday 25 June 2010

Memory Lane

This is probably lacking in relevance to anyone, but it tickled me a little.
Today I went to visit my Grandmother (she's 95 in 2 and a half weeks, yo - doesn't look a day over 80) in Edinburgh and bless her heart she'd looked out all these old letters I used to send her and diary entries I wrote (then gave to her??) back when I was 10 years old and stayed with her a whole lot because a) I didn't like spending the holidays with my parents and b) my parents didn't like me spending my holidays with them. Holy mother of God that was a long sentence but whatevs. One of the pieces of paper she handed me was apparently the start of some kind of film I was working on for Tim Burton i.e. pointless, horrfically self-consciously "kooky" and unintelligible. Sorry Tim Burton stans, I really dislike the man and 99.9% of his films (excluding of course The Nightmare Before Christmas - childhood classic, the first Batman, and some of Edward Scissorhands.) I'm not sure what this random excerpt was originally written for, it seems to be part of a diary entry but maybe I was trying to write a "story". Either way, the spelling and grammar is perfect (congrats 10 y old me, you'll later become semi-retarded) and seeing as I was such a wee nipper still, I thought I'd share the sheer quirkiness of it. And I quote:
"Once upon a time I took a brief stroll along my bed, this would be my exercise for the month. I promptly got back into bed and dreamt of fish swimming in cheese. I wish I was a fish. When I woke up I had a plate of...yes you guessed it...tortilla chips [what bloody 10 year old knows how to spell "tortilla" correctly without spell checking it?]I then went to the river intent on drowning myself. I soon discovered this would not be possible as the water was only ankle depth. When back at my house I lit a fire in my fireplace. I then remembered I did not own a fireplace. It's my house and...
God only knows what I would have gone on to say. SO, things we have learnt about me:
- I always have and always will write rambly, useless prose for no apparent reason.
- I was a v. troubled child.
- I am 90% sure the above discovery explains why I spent my holidays at my Granny's.

Thursday 24 June 2010

Costumes Cracked

One of 2009's most stunning films which managed to completely pass me by was Cracks, starring 3 of the most beautiful young, and not so young actresses on the circuit at the moment (Eva Green, Juno Temple and Imogen Poots).
The plot and cinematography are both captivating, and Eva Green's performance more than compensates for the younger cast members' acting which although competent, can at times leave a little to be desired. What really enthralls the viewer, however, and contributes to the true spectacle of the film, are the costumes. Allison Byrne, the costume designer for the film, mixes a wonderful range of vintage sourced pieces (the majority from London's Angels) and modern couture pieces to really encapsulate the 30's fashion. Eva Green's splendid outfits are truly magnificent, though the costumes provided for the young girls (particularly for Juno, Imogen and newcomer, María Valverde) are also worthy of note. Costumes haven't impressed me in quite this way since the likes of The Changeling, Atonement and Marie Antoinette. Seeing as it is the costumes which really make the film the visual treat that it is, I'll leave the pictures to do the rest of the explaining.
































There's an interview with Allison Byrne, the woman responsible for such finery, here, and although Cracks itself isn't dealt with, ClothesOnFilm deals with a magnificent array of the finest costumes within film and television.

Wednesday 23 June 2010

Face / Off

I'm on a real Nic Cage kick at the moment (largely thanks to Kick Ass and Bad Lieutenant Port of Call: New Orleans) which thankfully restored the semi-deity to his rightful position as Hollywood's insane(ly) great actor. Therefore I've been trying to re-watch the classics (Con Air being my first port of call...)and today's treat was the epic Face / Off. Less than 4 minutes into the film and you're treated to the Cage (how he should be properly addressed) 'dutty wining' to Handel's The Messiah. Clip below. Can someone please explain to me WHY he's dressed as a priest and there's a choir singing when they don't appear to be anywhere near a church?


Shit gets a bit boring in the very middle where the newly transformed Shane Archer doesn't need to pretend to be Caster Troy anymore so the Cage is forced to become all gooey and distressed about being in an alien body, but the scenes where he IS Caster Troy make the film so worthwhile. Even John Travolta is bearable: I especially love the joke made at his own expense regarding that chin of his. Yes the film is cheesy to the max, and all that sentimental face stroking which goes on would annoy the hell out of most families, but there's just something about the hugely unrealistic film and Cage's performance which captivates.

One final criticism however, is it just a Hollywood gimmick, or is every Catholic church in the States really full of this many doves?

Tuesday 22 June 2010

A Woman Obsessed

I have taken to pointing out Band of Brothers actors in any programme/film I now watch. Today's watch: Dexter Fletcher AKA Sgt. Martin in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Every time I watch this I wish I knew the type of geezers as portrayed by Guy Ritchie. I v. much wish I could pull off cockney slang with my middle-class-only-faintly-south-london-tinged accent. I've tried it. I can't.

Currently in East Lothian about 40 minutes from Edinburgh. Sharing a small bungalow/cottage with one sister, 2 parents and 4 wet dogs is pretty challenging but being an adult now, I have been initiated into the Paxton family's drinking problem. As has the little sister 3 years ahead of schedule.

Friday 18 June 2010

I'm now backing Argentina...



jus sayin

IN-GER-LAND

Michael Fassbender


Besides having the best name ever, Mr. Fassbender is one of the best looking men around and has also provided incredible performances in 4 of my favourite films from the past couple of years: Eden Lake, Hunger, Fish Tank and Inglourious Basterds. However, following his critical success, it would seem Michael has abandoned his selection of credible roles given his upcoming Jonah Hex, Jane Eyre, Haywire etc. Furthermore, he's now rumoured to be playing Eric Lehnsherr (who later becomes Magneto) in X-Men: First Class. I actually quite enjoy the X-Men films, but it would seem the Bender has gone down the same route as James McAvoy: critical acclaim went to his head and now all he signs up for are the likes of Wanted (McAvoy is also rumoured to be taking on Professor Charles Xavier in the newest installment of X-Men incidentally...) I know it sounds stupid, and I should be pleased for the man that he's clearly being recognised for his talent, but I have a habit of putting people on ridiculous pedestals from which I never allow them to step down. Basically, I can't be bothered reading a bad review about him.

Incidentally, I've now started reading Stephen Ambrose's original book, Band of Brothers and have since become more annoyed at the mini-series. Sgt. Burton Christenson (the role Fassbender plays in the HBO series) features quite a lot in the book, and is one of the key interviewees of the author. All I can do is shake my head at whoever made the decision to cut him out of the show so much.

Thursday 17 June 2010

Greenberg

This evening my sister and I went to see Greenberg, the latest from Noah Baumbach (writer of Fantastic Mr. Fox and the writer and director of Margot at the Wedding and The Squid and the Whale etc.) The moment I heard Greta Gerwig was co-starring I was immediately keen to see it. If you're big on girls who aren't shy of getting their kit off in films, Greta's your girl. Plus you know, she can act. Or in fact, I'm becoming more and more convinced she's not actually acting, she's just choosing roles in which she plays herself. Either way, I like her - I'd quite like to be her friend. Anyway, when I first heard this was going to be Ben Stiller's "chance to act", I was somewhat dubious given how much I hate the man. But in Greenberg this hatred I'm sure I'm not alone in possessing conveniently works in his favour and he actually fits the bill quite well. In fact, I'm struggling to think of an actor who would have played the role any more successfully. Rhys Ifans offers a solid supporting-role performance, though it could be argued that the role wasn't exactly challenging. Quietly-sulky-but-generally-pretty-friendly wouldn't require even the rookiest of Hollywood's "talent" to break an acting sweat. A slightly plumper Greta than I'm used to mumbles her way through the film as charmingly as ever and the dog even does a pretty stand-up job (though I did keep thinking he wasn't nearly as beautiful as Otto, our family's German Shepherd who died a couple of years ago). I will offer prospective viewers one warning however: watching Ben Stiller go down on Greta is possibly the most disturbing thing you'll ever see in a film.

Hot Kross Buns


Spielberg has announced the cast for his latest, War Horse adapted from the children's novel and play of the same name. If you're interested, Empire Magazine have outlined the cast here. I only really had a look out of half interest until I noticed David Kross's face among the chosen few. If you're wondering why you recognise the face, it'll be because he starred in The Reader alongside Kate Winslet. Thanks Spielberg for including him.
German? Check. Gawky? Check. Not shy of doing the horizontal tango on camera? Double check. LOVE. HIM.

Wednesday 16 June 2010

Avatar Oorah

I succumbed a little to the Blu Ray bug after watching Band of Brothers and eventually surrendered to my curiosity to see what I'd make of Avatar after all the nonsense surrounding it. I feel like I've lost the past "155 minutes" of my life. The film was everything I was expecting it to be: all pretty colours and not a lot else. In fact the only thing I'll take away with me from this experience is the impression that U.S. Marines apparently say "YEAAAHHHH GET SOME" every other sentence. Oh.
If you've never seen the below videos before, watch them in their entirety. I promise they're worth it.

Tuesday 15 June 2010

Never Let Me Go

I've been drafting a post listing all the people I fancy and the reasons why for some time now, in which Andrew Garfield and Carey Mulligan are both major players (as is Michael Fassbender...) and both happen to star in Mark Romanek's upcoming Never Let Me Go. Seeing as all three have now been mentioned in recent posts, I can't really be bothered with drumming up a whole separate post about the talent and good looks of them. So to summarise: they're all beautiful human beings and extremely talented actors.
Never Let Me Go is based on Kazuo Ishiguro's novel of the same name. I haven't read any of his works before, but I intend to spend my summer doing so, focusing especially on this, and The Remains of the Day to get a feel for his style before the predicted October release date of the film. Keira Knightley also stars, and judging by the trailer, this will be a continuation of her ability to actually act.

Bros over Hos

Having come down with some kind of cold/chesty cough type thing, I've spent the past 2 days sofa ridden watching our newly purchased Blu Ray boxset of Band of Brothers. My Dad actually met with Spielberg and some others involved in the making of it to discuss what MOD (that's Ministry of Defence to you civies) land, equipment etc. they could use for the making of it which was a massive talking point the next day at school. I'm completely lying on that last part - I didn't talk to anybody at school in 2001 and even if I had, none of my classmates would have then been interested in the news. Anyway, for whatever reason I had never gotten round to watching it until now, nor had I previously enjoyed the Blu Ray experience until yesterday afternoon. And while I'm not 100% sold on Blu Ray advantages just yet (though I'm sure after watching a few more releases which benefit from it, I will be), Band of Brothers has completely stolen my heart. I am now desperate to find a man like Major Richard Winters to settle down with. Not the real Richard Winters cause he's pretty old now, and not Damian Lewis, but someone who exactly resembles Damian Lewis playing Richard Winters. His gingerness, his fierce loyalty, fake American accent, hot bod - the works. Although had Michael Fassbender (expect to hear a LOT more about my infatuation with this man) featured more in it, I may well not have fallen so hard for this guy. Hardcore crushes aside, the cinematography is nothing short of breathtaking, the entire cast's acting is exemplary, and the writing is both hard-hitting and sensitive to the events. I laughed, I cried, I shook my fist at the screen (and apparently I fell in love). What more could you ask from an HBO production?
I am now itching to see The Pacific so here's hoping I can find the readies to shell out for that bad boy on Blu Ray too.

Cop a load of Coppola

It's really quite annoying how slow on the uptake I am about all movie-world news, as I had absolutely no idea Sophia Coppola was even working on another film, let alone releasing one this December. Furthermore, I had no idea miss Dakota had a little sister who also acted in the shape of Elle Fanning, the co-star of this particular upcoming feature. Either way, Somewhere now has a trailer. And suddenly I am all giddy with excitement over it.

Monday 14 June 2010

Oh god

I used to really like Rumi Neely (http://fashiontoast.com) until just now when I stumbled upon the featurette on her in this month's Elle. The majority of the things she says she loves are fine (if not a little pretentious at times) until we get to "The TV Show". Her answer? Skins. Yep, that Skins. And I quote: "I can't believe how daring it is; the writing and acting are incredible". I won't deny watching the show myself, and harbouring quite a large crush on both Lily Loveless and Kathryn Prescott, but incredible acting or writing? Proclaimed by someone with such apparent taste? I suppose the stereotyping in the show is lost on America. Perhaps because British humour is generally lost on American viewers, they suppose this show must be the funniest thing on earth because they don't find it funny either? Congratulations Brian Elsey and Jamie Brittain, you've managed to confuse America into appreciating your drivel as art.

Nailed it


I'm sure I'm really behind on discovering American Apparel's new line of nail polish, Nail Lacquer, but god I'm glad I've cottoned on. Before these, I relied on the occasional Barry M shade to fill my affordable nail varnish needs, but the majority of their colours are too garish and "loud" for my liking. Already in my possession is Coney Island (pictured left) and it is now my mission to acquire the majority of the 18 shades currently available before the store goes bust.

Personal favourites include California Trooper, Butter, Manila, Palm Springs, Dynasty, Office and Malibu Green.

They're £6 a pop, so in theory their offer of 3 for £12 would be wonderful if it weren't for the fact that they pre-determine what 3 you can buy for that. Online anyway; I'm going to investigate in store to see if I can arrange some kind of pic-n-mix arrangement.

Sunday 13 June 2010

the results are in...

All in all that was QUITE GOOD. K-Stew turned out to be quite charismatic and Dakota Fanny (intentional bad joke) turned out to be a less annoying version of Taylor Momsen. The pair of them are actually quite sexy and not nearly as bad at acting as I once thought they were. However, I kept hoping the whole way through I'd at least see some boobs. If I was judging the film based on innovation it wouldn't fare very well: expect the usual acts of rebellion shoved down your throats including but not limited to urination on guitars, drug abuse, and LOL buying vodka with onions!!! Can you imagine?! Having said that, I don't think any film which falls within the music biopic genre would be able to wriggle free of such clichés so all in all I'll give it a fair 7/10.

Notes to Floria Sigismondi, K-Stew and Dakota: more tits next time please. A full on nip shot may well have scored you a 7.5.

mhm Honey B

Why is it that this video is ridiculously better than the song itself? Hats off to you Melina Matsoukas.



If Ellen Von Unwerth directed videos, they would surely look like this. Click here for comparison.

Good Sunday afternoon news


It's been proven that I cannot handle hangover days without watching a new film, and although I've already made my way through two today (completely IGNORING the unopened blu-ray of Avatar which my parents mistakenly thought I'd be interested in...), my discovery of a leaked Runaways DVDSCR (that's DVD Screener for all you non-jargon understanding people) has got me salivating despite the hangover mouth. I used to hate Kristen Stewart with a passion until I realised the Twilight Saga wasn't the be all and end all of her acting capabilities. She's one of the most awkward human beings in the world but for some reason that is exactly what I like in a person when it's not combined with vampire slash. I've watched Adventureland approximately 4 times in the past week, something which is very rare considering my general inability to watch a film I've seen before. Not sure if that's purely Kristen's doing seeing as Ryan Reynolds is at his absolute best (I've become so 'mainstream', yuck etc.) but this is besides the point. I am particularly looking forward to the lesbo Dakota and Kristen action. I shall report back once I've enjoyed it in its entirety.

Failey Cyrus



The bird metaphor would probably have been more effective had she been dressed as Big Bird.